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When you're that exposed everyone gives up on pretensions. Not just on women, on men, too. When you get to be about 27, there's a little thrill that comes with being asked for ID at the bar, and the bartender saying something incredibly flattering like, "You look about 17, so I had to ask. Matt Meltzer is a staff writer at Thrillist who has recovered nicely from his sunburn, thank you. Nor is there anything arousing about sending emails with a bare ass.

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Jasmine. Age: 24.
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And both are perfectly fine.

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Greta. Age: 29.
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This may only be true of nudists, but it was still alarming to see so many men completely shaved like the women. Add in breast shapes, nipple sizes, and an incredible range of private parts, and you see that while we may not all be special snowflakes, no two of us are ever alike. Interestingly, you also don't tend to have the eye-contact problem when you are literally surrounded by naked breasts. Around the pool at Caliente, rarely was any dude rocking much more than a soul patch. Even after hastily throwing on my bathing suit and borrowing some SPF 45 from a highly entertained Caliente regular, my four-hour drive home was still especially uncomfortable. You see how guts hang in different ways over waistlines, and how ass cracks are different lengths on different people.

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